Self Image
Hello everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying a beautiful summer filled with fun and sun. Last week i started a membership at my local gym. I have been looking in to joining a gym for a while and finally found one pretty near my house so that i have been regularly able to walk over in the morning and work out.
My doctors have been talking about me joining a gym for a while and i knew that the benefits far outweighed my natural teenage response of "Can't i just sit on the couch and watch tv all summer?" In fact recently i was having some back problems. Every time that i stood for a long period of time my back would begin to ache. I have never had problems with my back before so i was confused. When we talked to my doctor about it she told me that because i have had so many abdominal surgeries (my original surgery, plus resizing surgeries for my ostomy), my stomach muscles are not as strong as most peoples and may not be enough to support my back. This causes me to put more pressure on my back than i should which causes my back to ache.
One thing that i have found from going to the gym is my level of self-consciousness has increased. Every time i get ready to go i have to psych myself up and convince myself that indeed i am wearing the correct clothing for the gym and that my current level of fitness is not being made fun of.
My medical condition causes a fair amount of self-consciousness. I have a lot of scars from past surgeries. I have a central line that has to be covered underneath my clothing. I also have to deal with my ostomy bag, which gets in the way of pants and shirts.
Every time i go shopping i have to face too-low waisted pants, too low cut shirts, and swimsuits that don't cover enough at all. But it's not just me! Everyone i know has trouble fitting in to things at the mall. If we all weren't self-conscious enough all ready, it doesn't help when we are expected to fit into a predetermined size based off a certain group of people. We are told that being unique is special but then we are told to fit into a specific shape of clothing. They want us to fall into a category.
I know that i am not the fittest person, but the idea that when i walk into a gym and see people that are fitter than me makes me extremely nervous and self-conscious just proves to me that there is something wrong with the expectations of society.
I don't often consider my medical condition a hinder, but going shopping can make me feel that way.
Every time i begin to feel self-conscious i have to take a moment and think. I have to think about how unrealistic those expectations are, how strong i have always been, and how even though my medical condition makes it so i cant wear certain clothes or that i am not as athletic as i wish i could be, i am who i am. No one can fault me for trying to get more athletic and no one can fault me for trying to find clothes that fit. Also you have to consider that everyone that you think is looking at you or judging you are probably worried that you are doing the same thing.
I hope you all have a wonderful stress free day. I am going to be going to the Oley Conference in Cape Cod on Wednesday, which i am extremely thrilled about. Please like, comment, and subscribe and if you haven't already, follow me on Facebook. Ciao!
My doctors have been talking about me joining a gym for a while and i knew that the benefits far outweighed my natural teenage response of "Can't i just sit on the couch and watch tv all summer?" In fact recently i was having some back problems. Every time that i stood for a long period of time my back would begin to ache. I have never had problems with my back before so i was confused. When we talked to my doctor about it she told me that because i have had so many abdominal surgeries (my original surgery, plus resizing surgeries for my ostomy), my stomach muscles are not as strong as most peoples and may not be enough to support my back. This causes me to put more pressure on my back than i should which causes my back to ache.
One thing that i have found from going to the gym is my level of self-consciousness has increased. Every time i get ready to go i have to psych myself up and convince myself that indeed i am wearing the correct clothing for the gym and that my current level of fitness is not being made fun of.
My medical condition causes a fair amount of self-consciousness. I have a lot of scars from past surgeries. I have a central line that has to be covered underneath my clothing. I also have to deal with my ostomy bag, which gets in the way of pants and shirts.
Every time i go shopping i have to face too-low waisted pants, too low cut shirts, and swimsuits that don't cover enough at all. But it's not just me! Everyone i know has trouble fitting in to things at the mall. If we all weren't self-conscious enough all ready, it doesn't help when we are expected to fit into a predetermined size based off a certain group of people. We are told that being unique is special but then we are told to fit into a specific shape of clothing. They want us to fall into a category.
I know that i am not the fittest person, but the idea that when i walk into a gym and see people that are fitter than me makes me extremely nervous and self-conscious just proves to me that there is something wrong with the expectations of society.
I don't often consider my medical condition a hinder, but going shopping can make me feel that way.
Every time i begin to feel self-conscious i have to take a moment and think. I have to think about how unrealistic those expectations are, how strong i have always been, and how even though my medical condition makes it so i cant wear certain clothes or that i am not as athletic as i wish i could be, i am who i am. No one can fault me for trying to get more athletic and no one can fault me for trying to find clothes that fit. Also you have to consider that everyone that you think is looking at you or judging you are probably worried that you are doing the same thing.
I hope you all have a wonderful stress free day. I am going to be going to the Oley Conference in Cape Cod on Wednesday, which i am extremely thrilled about. Please like, comment, and subscribe and if you haven't already, follow me on Facebook. Ciao!
Great post Celia!
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