Fear of the Unknown
Hello everyone! So it's been awhile... And I'm 3/4 the way done with me senior year!! I can't believe that in less than 9 weeks I will be graduating high school and turning 18! There is no way I am adult enough in my head to become an adult. But anyways, life has been insane. Back and forth between classes, college applications, scholarship applications and being out because of sickness.... I am barely having the time for anything else. The cleanliness factor of my room has definitely gone down the drain. (sorry mom!) But other than that my life has been ok. There have been a couple medical complications that I may talk about later but this post is about the part before you know what's wrong.
So this post is about the uncertainty and the fear that comes with having a medical condition like mine. Because despite all the good parts of overcoming challenges, there's always the hard part when you first become aware of the challenge. Due to some intestinal issues, I have recently had to face this kind of fear. When you start feeling pain or sick and you don't know what's wrong there's always a sense of fear. You hope that it's something small or easy to cure but unless you've experienced it before it is an unknown monster. It can be anything and is different for all people. For my sister it was discovering she had type 1 Diabetes. For others it's a surgery, an illness, even something as small as needing a shot. Due to my medical condition, I have experienced this feeling multiple times. It comes with the seriousness of my medical condition. When I have a fever it could mean an infection that could be easy to cure or extremely dangerous. So when I started having increasing intestinal issues and pain we talked to my doctor.
Doctors are trained to know a list of symptoms in correlation with different conditions or illnesses. For example, they know that a fever, nausea, and achy-ness are symptoms of the flu. They are also symptoms of a virus and probably some horrible disease as well. And then your doctors will proceed to tell you all of the potential illnesses you may/or may not have. If you have ever typed symptoms into WebMd you know what I'm talking about. Part of you is thankful to know what could be causing your symptoms, but the other part is freaking out that one of your symptoms could potentially be related to a disease that could potentially in some rare cases cause death. Any then cue freak out. My doctors then sent me to have tests done to get proof of one of these conditions. Between the time when you've had the tests done and you are waiting for results is a very stressful and scary time. You don't know if somethings wrong and your thinking the worst.
Anyway that's where I am now. Don't worry! I will be fine and no matter what the doctors say it's not gonna be to crazy of a change. I am a person that doesn't deal with stress well, I tend to bite my nails, procrastinate, snack a lot... All things I have been doing. It's just a part of having a medical condition. And it sucks, it really does. I wanna know what I'm getting into now! Not in three days between the hours of 3 & 5. But I'll get through it. So my advice to those dealing with any fear of the unknown is to accept it and understand that you'll figure it out soon and to get ready to fight because it may be something small, or it might not. But either way you're gonna fight whatever tries to get in your way.
I hope everyone is doing well and some happy news from here... I got into University of Maryland! So I have a educational future :) Enjoy your weeks, Bye Internet!
So this post is about the uncertainty and the fear that comes with having a medical condition like mine. Because despite all the good parts of overcoming challenges, there's always the hard part when you first become aware of the challenge. Due to some intestinal issues, I have recently had to face this kind of fear. When you start feeling pain or sick and you don't know what's wrong there's always a sense of fear. You hope that it's something small or easy to cure but unless you've experienced it before it is an unknown monster. It can be anything and is different for all people. For my sister it was discovering she had type 1 Diabetes. For others it's a surgery, an illness, even something as small as needing a shot. Due to my medical condition, I have experienced this feeling multiple times. It comes with the seriousness of my medical condition. When I have a fever it could mean an infection that could be easy to cure or extremely dangerous. So when I started having increasing intestinal issues and pain we talked to my doctor.
Doctors are trained to know a list of symptoms in correlation with different conditions or illnesses. For example, they know that a fever, nausea, and achy-ness are symptoms of the flu. They are also symptoms of a virus and probably some horrible disease as well. And then your doctors will proceed to tell you all of the potential illnesses you may/or may not have. If you have ever typed symptoms into WebMd you know what I'm talking about. Part of you is thankful to know what could be causing your symptoms, but the other part is freaking out that one of your symptoms could potentially be related to a disease that could potentially in some rare cases cause death. Any then cue freak out. My doctors then sent me to have tests done to get proof of one of these conditions. Between the time when you've had the tests done and you are waiting for results is a very stressful and scary time. You don't know if somethings wrong and your thinking the worst.
Anyway that's where I am now. Don't worry! I will be fine and no matter what the doctors say it's not gonna be to crazy of a change. I am a person that doesn't deal with stress well, I tend to bite my nails, procrastinate, snack a lot... All things I have been doing. It's just a part of having a medical condition. And it sucks, it really does. I wanna know what I'm getting into now! Not in three days between the hours of 3 & 5. But I'll get through it. So my advice to those dealing with any fear of the unknown is to accept it and understand that you'll figure it out soon and to get ready to fight because it may be something small, or it might not. But either way you're gonna fight whatever tries to get in your way.
I hope everyone is doing well and some happy news from here... I got into University of Maryland! So I have a educational future :) Enjoy your weeks, Bye Internet!
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